So much of my life lately has been consumed with this:
1. Seeing needs and not knowing how to meet them.
2. Having needs but being resistant to sharing them.
3. Being able to meet needs, but not willing.
So many conversations I've had lately center around seeing needs. I know couples who need marriage support, ministries that need prayer, women who need friends (me included), men who need mentors, and families who need help raising and taking care of their children. How do we meet these needs? How do we get others to see the needs? That's the real question. We can't meet every need we see, but someone can.
Lord please change our hearts.
How many needs do I miss? Why when there is so much uncertainty are we hesitant to share that we need prayer and encouragement? How do we as the body of Christ die to ourselves to do the work God has called us to? How can we expect others to do what we ourselves are unwilling to do?
I am guilty. I doubt, I fear, I give in to anxiety, but rarely do I share what I'm struggling with. Right now we are in the process of buying a house. We thought we were to the end. It's been incredibly stressful. I've had anxiety, worried at late hours of the night, and even had nightmares through the process. I've cried, drove by the house and said a million prayers, and only confessed to a tiny few that we are even in this process. Why? Why did we not tell right away that we were doing this- that we needed guidance and encouragement and advice? Buying a house is stressful. We thought we would be closing this Friday, but according to the call I got today at best it's happening next Thursday if at all. I was completely crushed. I've prayed through the whole process, but if I had just shared the need early on how much stress and anxiety could the prayers of others saved us? We have to share our needs. We need each others prayers. We need each others encouragement. Sometimes we need more than just encouragement and prayer- sometimes we have physical needs that could be met if only we would speak up.
If more and more people were willing to be transparent, would it make a difference?
To that end, we have to do more than see needs and share our own, we have to actually step up and meet the needs we are capable of meeting. I can't do it all, but I can do something. I can pray for someone. I can send a card. I can send a meal. I can watch a child for a short amount of time. I can listen. There are lots of things I can do, I just have to be willing to listen when the Lord says to move and take action.
What needs do you see? What needs do you have? What needs have you met? These questions are important. As the body of Christ we should be in the business of seeing and meeting needs.
Acts 20:35 "In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must
help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself
said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.'”
James 2:26 "For as the body apart from the spirit is dead, so also faith apart from works is dead."
1 Thessalonians 5:11 "Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing."
Galatians 6:2 "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ"
Hebrews 10:24-25 " 24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching."
What are your thoughts? What keeps us from meeting others needs? What keeps us from sharing our own needs? What is keeping us from seeing the needs of others?
I'm tired. I'm scared. I'm selfish. Lord change me.
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
Thursday, October 2, 2014
Understood Mommy
I've come to notice a change and I'm proud to say I think it's coming from my generation.
Today I was out with my lovely 18 month old all over town running errands. I dropped in a resale store that I go to often to see if I could consign a few of Vi's old clothes that will be the wrong season for Lila (I'm crafty, but even I don't know how to salvage long sleeve christmas onesies and make them work for July). While at the store my child started having a meltdown. You know, a "scream at the top of my lungs and cry and want up and then kick to get down, and then beg to be picked back up" type of meltdown. If you have never experienced this, well, you must not have ever had an 18 month old. It's completely normal. I was not panicked. I was not embarrassed. I could tell the sales lady was a little uncomfortable, so I told her that at this age my child has no less than 20 "the world is ending" episodes a day, and that it's not a cause for concern. I basically ignore them unless I know there is a legitimate reason/need not being met causing the behavior. At that point I noticed a few other moms in the store who had taken notice, and when I explained to the sales lady, I saw smiles. They knew. I didn't have to talk to those other moms to know they weren't judging me. A simple smile let me know that they understood exactly what I was going through and the futility of fighting or even apologizing for my child's behavior.
I have a piece of paper from our pediatrician describing in great detail my child's exact behavior (even though it is a handout given to ALL moms at the 18 month check up). It also states I should not take my child anywhere I would not feel comfortable with having her throw a tantrum. As it turns out, I don't care if her world ends while I'm at the grocery store, a clothing store, or even church. Do you know why? Because I have been given the freedom to parent according to my own convictions. I am careful about what I say in public and keep my more debatable parenting convictions to myself or share them person to person rather than throwing it out to the wolves. For the most part, I don't see judgement.
That's what makes me excited. Women my age have embraced reality. In spite of the pressure of super mom on Pinterest and perfect pictures on Instagram, we've managed to get over it all and accept that life at home is hard. Children do not act or look the way we want them to all the time. Our homes are messy. We don't shower nearly as often as we wish we could. We are too tired to compete. There is always dirty laundry and dirty dishes. We try to feed our families healthy foods, but sometimes we feed our kids cereal for dinner. I am so thankful for the other mommies out there with blogs that reflect real life. I'm thankful to women I almost never interact with in real life, but, through facebook, feel like kindred spirits because they aren't afraid to post photos with laundry baskets in the background and toys all over the floor while their children wear mismatched clothes or run around in underwear. That's real life.
I still see women who pass judgement on other moms, but the point is I'm seeing it less and less. What I'm seeing more is the great response of honest mommies who rise up in defense when they see another mom being criticized. It gives me hope that some day when my girls are older and become moms, they will have a community of support instead of a community of criticism. I pray that women in the church would rise up with honesty and transparency because that's what women need. We need someone genuine who feels what we feel. We need someone to smile in such a way that let's us know they get it. We need to know that our feelings are valid. They are.
We understand. We really do. If we don't, it's only because we haven't been there yet, but trust me, our day is coming.
Today I was out with my lovely 18 month old all over town running errands. I dropped in a resale store that I go to often to see if I could consign a few of Vi's old clothes that will be the wrong season for Lila (I'm crafty, but even I don't know how to salvage long sleeve christmas onesies and make them work for July). While at the store my child started having a meltdown. You know, a "scream at the top of my lungs and cry and want up and then kick to get down, and then beg to be picked back up" type of meltdown. If you have never experienced this, well, you must not have ever had an 18 month old. It's completely normal. I was not panicked. I was not embarrassed. I could tell the sales lady was a little uncomfortable, so I told her that at this age my child has no less than 20 "the world is ending" episodes a day, and that it's not a cause for concern. I basically ignore them unless I know there is a legitimate reason/need not being met causing the behavior. At that point I noticed a few other moms in the store who had taken notice, and when I explained to the sales lady, I saw smiles. They knew. I didn't have to talk to those other moms to know they weren't judging me. A simple smile let me know that they understood exactly what I was going through and the futility of fighting or even apologizing for my child's behavior.
I have a piece of paper from our pediatrician describing in great detail my child's exact behavior (even though it is a handout given to ALL moms at the 18 month check up). It also states I should not take my child anywhere I would not feel comfortable with having her throw a tantrum. As it turns out, I don't care if her world ends while I'm at the grocery store, a clothing store, or even church. Do you know why? Because I have been given the freedom to parent according to my own convictions. I am careful about what I say in public and keep my more debatable parenting convictions to myself or share them person to person rather than throwing it out to the wolves. For the most part, I don't see judgement.
That's what makes me excited. Women my age have embraced reality. In spite of the pressure of super mom on Pinterest and perfect pictures on Instagram, we've managed to get over it all and accept that life at home is hard. Children do not act or look the way we want them to all the time. Our homes are messy. We don't shower nearly as often as we wish we could. We are too tired to compete. There is always dirty laundry and dirty dishes. We try to feed our families healthy foods, but sometimes we feed our kids cereal for dinner. I am so thankful for the other mommies out there with blogs that reflect real life. I'm thankful to women I almost never interact with in real life, but, through facebook, feel like kindred spirits because they aren't afraid to post photos with laundry baskets in the background and toys all over the floor while their children wear mismatched clothes or run around in underwear. That's real life.
I still see women who pass judgement on other moms, but the point is I'm seeing it less and less. What I'm seeing more is the great response of honest mommies who rise up in defense when they see another mom being criticized. It gives me hope that some day when my girls are older and become moms, they will have a community of support instead of a community of criticism. I pray that women in the church would rise up with honesty and transparency because that's what women need. We need someone genuine who feels what we feel. We need someone to smile in such a way that let's us know they get it. We need to know that our feelings are valid. They are.
We understand. We really do. If we don't, it's only because we haven't been there yet, but trust me, our day is coming.
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
Waiting
The past few days I will admit that I've felt a little lost. I don't call my parents often. I rarely ask for advice or direction, but I did recently because right now I honestly have no idea what to do. Have you ever felt that way?
There are some things in life that we must decide that aren't easy, times when no one else on earth can really tell us which direction to take. That's where I'm at.
As contrary as it may seem to many, the Bible really doesn't contain a list giving us the answer to every move we make in life. It won't tell us directly what method we should choose to educate our children, where exactly to live, what occupation to take, who to marry, or how many children to have. There are certainly guidelines and advice that speaks to all of these, but the Bible doesn't give specifics on many of these "big" decisions.
We know that when we don't know what to do, the answer is to ask the Lord. After all, He is sovereign. He knows all things, so surely He can direct us in these decisions.
That's what I'm waiting for.
I have to admit, it's difficult to wait with patience. I want to know the answer yesterday. I find myself pouring through my Bible in hopes of finding a solution even though I know that my current situation will find no direct answer in scripture. So here is what I pose to you: In these situations where you find that the only answer is to pray for an answer, what do you do while you are waiting on God?
There are some things in life that we must decide that aren't easy, times when no one else on earth can really tell us which direction to take. That's where I'm at.
As contrary as it may seem to many, the Bible really doesn't contain a list giving us the answer to every move we make in life. It won't tell us directly what method we should choose to educate our children, where exactly to live, what occupation to take, who to marry, or how many children to have. There are certainly guidelines and advice that speaks to all of these, but the Bible doesn't give specifics on many of these "big" decisions.
We know that when we don't know what to do, the answer is to ask the Lord. After all, He is sovereign. He knows all things, so surely He can direct us in these decisions.
That's what I'm waiting for.
I have to admit, it's difficult to wait with patience. I want to know the answer yesterday. I find myself pouring through my Bible in hopes of finding a solution even though I know that my current situation will find no direct answer in scripture. So here is what I pose to you: In these situations where you find that the only answer is to pray for an answer, what do you do while you are waiting on God?
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Sisters, sisters, there were never such devoted sisters... Introducing our little one's name :)
If you didn't catch the hint from my facebook post, Violet is getting a little sister. I'm ECSTATIC! I'd have been happy to have a little boy, but I don't think there is anything wrong with having a preference one way or the other, and I really wanted another little girl.
Her name, well, it kinda requires some explanation, but to start, I SWEAR I'M NOT NAMING MY GIRLS FOR SHADES OF PURPLE. Now that I've got that out, we will call her "Lila." Her full name is Lilac Jane Joyce Jaeger.
1.I want my girls to know they are beautiful so I gave them names of flowers. Violet's flower name was a nod to my early love of reading The Boxcar Children. Lilac's name was inspired by my favorite movie of all time: The Holiday Inn (which is also the first movie Cameron and I ever watched together). One of the girls in the movie is named "Lila" and I thought it sounded pretty.
2. As well as being beautiful, we want our girls to be smart. I like giving them names with literary ties (Cameron and I both desire for our girls to love reading like we do). Jane is in fact a nod to my favorite author of all time, Jane Austen. The fact that her middle names Jane Joyce are also reminiscent of James Joyce was a happy coincidence :)
3. We also want our girls to be close to their family, so we are giving them family names. Violet was named for Cameron's maternal grandmother Grace. Lila we are naming after my maternal grandmother Joyce. Regardless of all else, my grandmother has this legacy to offer: she stayed with my grandfather for better or worse and in sickness and health. Sometimes "worse" is something we never imagined before we got married, and "sickness" can be years and years of struggle, but I believe that marriage is sacred and our vows are meant to be honored for life. That's something I want to pass on to my daughters.
So there you have it. Her name is long, and certainly less than common, but I love it. We are identified by our names for the rest of our lives, so they might as well accompany a meaning worth identifying with. God makes us in His own image. He makes us beautiful and intelligent. He created us for relationship with Himself and others. If we fail in other ways, at the very least our girls will grow up sure of these things because even their names will testify to their identity in Christ.
Thursday, August 7, 2014
A little note of joy
Being a parent is pretty awesome most days. Just sayin'. Don't get me wrong, the teething is terrible, my child's inability to tell me in words what is wrong (therefore resulting in many mini meltdowns) stinks, and about a billion other little annoyances make the job less than desirable at times, but all in all having a little girl is pretty amazing.
Tonight we were making dinner in the kitchen and had Violet sitting up on the counter with music playing and while she was bopping her head and flailing her arms in an attempt to dance, I took Cameron's hand and we started dancing. Her little eyes lit up and she busted out giggles of glee. We let her hop down and she went back and forth between the two of us taking our hands and dancing around the kitchen with us.
She has this way of stealing the show in our family. We think we are watching a movie or eating dinner or doing any normal thing and then I find that actually we are just watching Violet do those things.She is absolutely captivating. I mean it. When her little eyes light up and she smiles and starts dancing we can't help but stop and stare as if mesmerized. It's almost as if her joy fills us with joy.
Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.” The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy. - Psalm 126:2-3 (NIV)
That's what it is. Children are a gift, a great blessing. Just by trusting us with Violet, the Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.
Tonight we were making dinner in the kitchen and had Violet sitting up on the counter with music playing and while she was bopping her head and flailing her arms in an attempt to dance, I took Cameron's hand and we started dancing. Her little eyes lit up and she busted out giggles of glee. We let her hop down and she went back and forth between the two of us taking our hands and dancing around the kitchen with us.
She has this way of stealing the show in our family. We think we are watching a movie or eating dinner or doing any normal thing and then I find that actually we are just watching Violet do those things.She is absolutely captivating. I mean it. When her little eyes light up and she smiles and starts dancing we can't help but stop and stare as if mesmerized. It's almost as if her joy fills us with joy.
Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.” The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy. - Psalm 126:2-3 (NIV)
That's what it is. Children are a gift, a great blessing. Just by trusting us with Violet, the Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
$$$ Money, money money, MONEY!
Little things add up. I recently did the math and found that from digital coupons, clipped coupons, shopping/ planning meals around what is on sale, and looking through the discount bins, I consistently save about 35-40% a month on groceries. I don't do anything "extreme" or super time consuming. We eat almost every meal at home plus snacks and treats so we go through a lot of groceries. We eat what we like and our budget never holds us back from having our favorite things. I figured out that we eat about $250 worth of groceries a week. I spend about $150. We save about $4800 a year.
So, here is how I do it:
1. I buy in multiples.
I look at the sale ads EVERY week. I choose the items that have the deepest discounts and I buy as much as I can of those items. For instance, this week Kroger has skinner pasta on sale for .38 each (typically about $1 each). I will buy a month worth of pasta at that price because pasta goes on sale at deep discounts pretty often. We go through about 2-3 packages of pasta a week. So say 10 in a month. The sale price saves me about $6 for the month. A few weeks back Kroger ran canned tuna on sale for .50 each (which is a rare low price I haven't seen for tuna in a very long time- it typically goes on sale for about .69-.89)- I bought over 30 cans. That might seem extreme at first, but if you think of it in the long run- I know that my family eats about 6-8 cans of tuna a month. The normal price I pay is about .79 each. So I typically spend 4.74-6.32 a month on tuna. At the sale price of .50 I'm only paying $3-4 a month. That's about $2 a month which may not sound like a huge savings at first, but when you buy say 4-5 months worth, that's about $9. Now just on tuna and pasta- some pretty basic staples, I've saved $8 in a month. Maybe you still don't think that's much, but if I can get that sort of savings EVERY month- it adds up to $96 in a year.
This is how I shop for almost EVERY item. I buy in bulk when things are on sale and it means that I am only ever paying the lowest prices for my grocery items. This means that each week I may not be buying groceries that all together would equal a week of meals because ingredients are missing, but combined with what I've bought in the past, it all works out.
2. I buy what's on sale.
That statement may sound a lot like what I just went through, but hang with me a second, because it is VERY different. Not all items can be bought in bulk because they would spoil. These fresh items are really important to a well balanced, healthy diet. The way I keep fresh foods in the house without running up my grocery bill is I ONLY buy what is on sale. Last week grapes were on sale for .88/lb which is a fantastic price for fruit. I also found blueberries for 1.99/pint. A few weeks ago we went out to a farm and purchased a 1/4 peck of peaches that we keep in the refrigerator- (buying from the farm AT the farm is a great way to get super low prices on seasonal produce). This gave my family three great options for fresh fruit last week and kept my grocery bill low. I do the same thing for veggies that aren't best bought frozen (like whole potatoes, bell peppers, mushrooms, tomatoes, etc.) I buy what is on sale (which is typically whatever is in season) and then I plan my meals/snacks around what I am able to purchase. Grapes are typically $2-3/lb and blueberries are typically $4/pint. Peaches have been around $2/lb. Last week we had $16 worth of fruit, but I only paid about $7.
3. I buy discount meat.
Now this part of how I save a TON of money really does require a small deep freezer. Also, you need to educate yourself on the proper way to freeze/store meat, how to thaw it, and how long it can be frozen. In addition to purchasing choice meats when they are on sale (brisket, ribs, steaks, good cuts of pork, etc.), I ALWAYS check the discount bins in the meat department and almost exclusively buy ground beef and roasts on "managers special" (marked down) along with anything else appealing I find there for less than $3.49/lb. I buy lean ground beef and never pay a dime over $3.49/lb for it, but I often pay less than $3/lb. If you shop much you know that those prices are at a minimum $1/lb less than the typical prices. When I see the meat, I buy every bit that is available. I wait for smoked sausage to be $1/package and then buy in bulk. I also buy bacon in bulk- on occasion there are two grocery stores in town that will run a 3lb package of bacon for $8-$9 (which is an absolute STEAL for bacon) and I will buy 4 packages at once (which lasts us 3-6 months depending on how much we feel like eating bacon). I buy chicken (boneless/skinless) only when it is on sale for less than 1.80/lb. If I can't find our staples (ground beef and boneless skinless chicken) on sale/discount, then I buy bulk packages at Sam's Club which ALWAYS carries them at the lowest regular price in town (typically a full .70-.80/lb less). Meat can be a big chunk of your grocery budget if you don't shop smart- but remember that there are many meats that keep for several months if frozen properly. You should never pay the regular grocery store price for meat. I exclusively purchase sale and discount meats and I know it is where I save a huge percent of $$$. If you live in Longview, Skinner's is really great at having discount meats, and Kroger/Albertson's run the best sales on meat. Between the three, you should never have to pay full price. Super One and occasionally Brookshire's run the smoked sausage and bacon on sale a few times a year and prices worth buying in bulk.
4. I USE ALL of the discounts available to me.
I have the store cards for every store in town. I load the digital coupons onto my cards. It takes very little time to load digital coupons and it's an easy way to save money without spending a lot of time/effort. Brookshires will even send text exclusive deals to your phone if you sign up and sometimes those deals are really good. I don't typically shop at Brookshires because it is the furthest from my home and the prices on average are the highest in town, but every now and then I get a text deal too good to pass up. I also clip coupons. If you don't buy the Sunday paper (I don't), you probably know someone who does and doesn't use the coupons- ask for them. I get free coupons, clip the ones I might use, and keep them in plastic organizers in my purse at ALL times. I NEVER EVER leave home without them. I flip through them in the parking lot before I go into the store and pull out the ones I think I might need based on what I'm going in for. I don't go crazy, and I don't buy things I don't need. I only use them if they will actually SAVE money. Sometimes it's cheaper to buy the store brand or a different size of the item than to use the coupon you have. In addition to the free coupons I am graciously given, about once a month I browse coupons.com and print out the coupons that are for items I know I buy (or that typically go on sale meaning I can purchase them at super low prices). I also have "liked" the facebook pages for several brands that my family likes. Often companies will post facebook exclusive coupons. I don't go looking through pages for coupons, but if it comes up in my normal feed, I go ahead and print it. I also pay attention to the coupons that print out at the register when I'm at the grocery store. Those coupons are typically targeted towards your buying habits and can be really valuable. I save about $20/ month using coupons and spend maybe an hour/month clipping/downloading/printing them. Not bad. *It is important to note that you may need to read through the coupon policy for the store you shop at most often to learn the exceptions- for example, at kroger you cannot combine a printed coupon with a digital coupon. Digital coupons also cannot be used for "managers special" (marked down) items, but they CAN be used for sale items.
5. I check my receipts.
While my items are being rung up, I watch the screen to try and check that the prices are what I expected. Before I leave the store, I pull my buggy over to the side after I've checked out and I look over my receipt to make sure that every thing rang up for what it was supposed to, that all sale items were truly sold to me at the advertised prices, and to make sure all of my coupons were taken off. If I find a problem, I immediately take my receipt to customer service and have it made right. No less than 6 times a year I get over charged for items and have to go through the process to get a refund, but at times it has been the difference of as much as $20! That's a lot of money to lose to not checking your receipts!
6. I read the fine print.
There is nothing worse than thinking that you are going to get a great deal then walking up to the cash register and finding out that you didn't read the details and will miss out on the savings. This can apply to coupons, but mostly I find the issue with the "mega" sales. Often, in order to get the lowest advertised price, you have to meet certain criteria- like purchasing a certain number of items that are on the "mega" sale. If you purchase too few, none of the items will be sold to you at the discount, and if you get too many, (say 7 instead of 6), then the "extra" items will be sold at the higher price. It's also important to note limits. Often stores will advertise "loss leaders"- these are items sold at discounts so deep the retailer might actually be losing money on the sale, so they put in limits for the number of those items that you can purchase at the discount- attempting to purchase more than the limit will result in the excess being sold to you at regular price. Also with "loss leaders" you need to make sure there isn't an "additional purchase" requirement. Especially with meat deals, stores often require you to make an ADDITIONAL (meaning the price of the sale item doesn't count towards the total) purchase of $10-$20.
7. I always check out the competition.
I shop the most at Kroger because I find it to be the store with the lowest overall prices and it's close to my home. However, I do not shop exclusively at Kroger. I buy bread at Skinners because they sell pepperidge farm bread products for .99 everyday. I look at the sale ads for EVERY grocery store in town EVERY week. Sometimes it's worth it for me to run into a different store to pick up sale items. I find this most true for fresh items (produce and meat). By looking at the competition each week, I get to make sure I'm getting the most for my money and providing variety for my family.
8. Special items are ONLY bought at super discounts.
We have a coffee machine that brews K-cups. If you've ever done the math, you know that it is much more expensive to buy K-cups than it is to buy ground coffee. For this reason I ONLY buy K-cups on clearance. I occasionally find them at Super One or Kroger on clearance and I buy up everything they have. I pay a max of $3.50 for a box of 12, but typically I pay $2-$3 per box (typically less than half of the regular price). We have a lot of K-cups and a wide variety of options at our house. This is how we handle ALL Special items. We don't buy ice cream unless it's a really good sale. We only buy candy the day after a holiday when it's half off. We save the special stuff for when it's really cheap.
9. I am brand flexible.
It's hard to save money if you are only willing to buy the same brand you always buy. We have our preferences, but those preferences can be trumped by prices. For instance, we prefer Prego or Classico for jarred pasta sauce, but this week Ragu was on sale for 1.19/jar PLUS I had a coupon for .75/off 2. That made each jar about .81. Prego or Classico would have been over 2.50/jar. We don't love Ragu, but we are all willing to eat it. At that big of a price difference, we eat what's affordable over what's preferable. Now, we straight up dislike certain brands of pasta sauce, so regardless of the price, I don't buy those. Flexibility doesn't mean eating things we don't like or buying things we will never use. Sometimes the store brand is cheapest, sometimes a name brand is cheapest, and sometimes the right coupon can make a world of difference. We eat several brands, we are willing to try new brands, and I shop with a balance of what's most affordable vs. what we prefer.
10. I buy the SIZE that is most cost effective.
Look closely at the price tags on the shelves and you will start to see small numbers typically in a corner that will give a breakdown of the price/unit. So like when buying cheese typically the small corner price will show the price/ounce. This is really important to pay attention to. Sometimes the bigger size of an item comes at smaller price/unit- but not always. Sometimes the smaller packages carry the smaller overall price (this is especially true when an item is on sale- often the size that is on sale will be cheaper than other sizes of the same item). Does that make sense? For example, typically with block cheese, if you buy a 1lb block, you pay less per ounce than if you bought the same brand of cheese in the 8oz block. However, on occasion, 8oz blocks will run on sale at prices so low that it actually becomes cheaper to buy two 8oz blocks of cheese than a 1lb block of cheese. NOW- the one exception to this money saving rule is this: NEVER BUY MORE THAN YOU CAN USE BEFORE IT SPOILS. It does no good at all to buy a whole bunch of something if you are going to end up throwing out a good portion of it. Like if you buy cereal but your family doesn't eat it often, it may be more economical to buy the smaller box because the bigger one may go stale before you are able to eat the whole thing.
Ok, I know that was a lot of info. If you aren't big on shopping/saving it may seem overwhelming, but I promise, with just a tiny bit of time practicing the execution, it gets easier and eventually you find that it's not hard or time consuming to save a lot of money grocery shopping.
If you are interested in some of the more crazy side of saving money, I suggest "liking" the Kroger Krazy page on facebook. You can also check out couponmom.com for a super easy walk through of how to combine coupons with sale prices and price matching to get stuff for super cheap/free.
So, here is how I do it:
1. I buy in multiples.
I look at the sale ads EVERY week. I choose the items that have the deepest discounts and I buy as much as I can of those items. For instance, this week Kroger has skinner pasta on sale for .38 each (typically about $1 each). I will buy a month worth of pasta at that price because pasta goes on sale at deep discounts pretty often. We go through about 2-3 packages of pasta a week. So say 10 in a month. The sale price saves me about $6 for the month. A few weeks back Kroger ran canned tuna on sale for .50 each (which is a rare low price I haven't seen for tuna in a very long time- it typically goes on sale for about .69-.89)- I bought over 30 cans. That might seem extreme at first, but if you think of it in the long run- I know that my family eats about 6-8 cans of tuna a month. The normal price I pay is about .79 each. So I typically spend 4.74-6.32 a month on tuna. At the sale price of .50 I'm only paying $3-4 a month. That's about $2 a month which may not sound like a huge savings at first, but when you buy say 4-5 months worth, that's about $9. Now just on tuna and pasta- some pretty basic staples, I've saved $8 in a month. Maybe you still don't think that's much, but if I can get that sort of savings EVERY month- it adds up to $96 in a year.
This is how I shop for almost EVERY item. I buy in bulk when things are on sale and it means that I am only ever paying the lowest prices for my grocery items. This means that each week I may not be buying groceries that all together would equal a week of meals because ingredients are missing, but combined with what I've bought in the past, it all works out.
2. I buy what's on sale.
That statement may sound a lot like what I just went through, but hang with me a second, because it is VERY different. Not all items can be bought in bulk because they would spoil. These fresh items are really important to a well balanced, healthy diet. The way I keep fresh foods in the house without running up my grocery bill is I ONLY buy what is on sale. Last week grapes were on sale for .88/lb which is a fantastic price for fruit. I also found blueberries for 1.99/pint. A few weeks ago we went out to a farm and purchased a 1/4 peck of peaches that we keep in the refrigerator- (buying from the farm AT the farm is a great way to get super low prices on seasonal produce). This gave my family three great options for fresh fruit last week and kept my grocery bill low. I do the same thing for veggies that aren't best bought frozen (like whole potatoes, bell peppers, mushrooms, tomatoes, etc.) I buy what is on sale (which is typically whatever is in season) and then I plan my meals/snacks around what I am able to purchase. Grapes are typically $2-3/lb and blueberries are typically $4/pint. Peaches have been around $2/lb. Last week we had $16 worth of fruit, but I only paid about $7.
3. I buy discount meat.
Now this part of how I save a TON of money really does require a small deep freezer. Also, you need to educate yourself on the proper way to freeze/store meat, how to thaw it, and how long it can be frozen. In addition to purchasing choice meats when they are on sale (brisket, ribs, steaks, good cuts of pork, etc.), I ALWAYS check the discount bins in the meat department and almost exclusively buy ground beef and roasts on "managers special" (marked down) along with anything else appealing I find there for less than $3.49/lb. I buy lean ground beef and never pay a dime over $3.49/lb for it, but I often pay less than $3/lb. If you shop much you know that those prices are at a minimum $1/lb less than the typical prices. When I see the meat, I buy every bit that is available. I wait for smoked sausage to be $1/package and then buy in bulk. I also buy bacon in bulk- on occasion there are two grocery stores in town that will run a 3lb package of bacon for $8-$9 (which is an absolute STEAL for bacon) and I will buy 4 packages at once (which lasts us 3-6 months depending on how much we feel like eating bacon). I buy chicken (boneless/skinless) only when it is on sale for less than 1.80/lb. If I can't find our staples (ground beef and boneless skinless chicken) on sale/discount, then I buy bulk packages at Sam's Club which ALWAYS carries them at the lowest regular price in town (typically a full .70-.80/lb less). Meat can be a big chunk of your grocery budget if you don't shop smart- but remember that there are many meats that keep for several months if frozen properly. You should never pay the regular grocery store price for meat. I exclusively purchase sale and discount meats and I know it is where I save a huge percent of $$$. If you live in Longview, Skinner's is really great at having discount meats, and Kroger/Albertson's run the best sales on meat. Between the three, you should never have to pay full price. Super One and occasionally Brookshire's run the smoked sausage and bacon on sale a few times a year and prices worth buying in bulk.
4. I USE ALL of the discounts available to me.
I have the store cards for every store in town. I load the digital coupons onto my cards. It takes very little time to load digital coupons and it's an easy way to save money without spending a lot of time/effort. Brookshires will even send text exclusive deals to your phone if you sign up and sometimes those deals are really good. I don't typically shop at Brookshires because it is the furthest from my home and the prices on average are the highest in town, but every now and then I get a text deal too good to pass up. I also clip coupons. If you don't buy the Sunday paper (I don't), you probably know someone who does and doesn't use the coupons- ask for them. I get free coupons, clip the ones I might use, and keep them in plastic organizers in my purse at ALL times. I NEVER EVER leave home without them. I flip through them in the parking lot before I go into the store and pull out the ones I think I might need based on what I'm going in for. I don't go crazy, and I don't buy things I don't need. I only use them if they will actually SAVE money. Sometimes it's cheaper to buy the store brand or a different size of the item than to use the coupon you have. In addition to the free coupons I am graciously given, about once a month I browse coupons.com and print out the coupons that are for items I know I buy (or that typically go on sale meaning I can purchase them at super low prices). I also have "liked" the facebook pages for several brands that my family likes. Often companies will post facebook exclusive coupons. I don't go looking through pages for coupons, but if it comes up in my normal feed, I go ahead and print it. I also pay attention to the coupons that print out at the register when I'm at the grocery store. Those coupons are typically targeted towards your buying habits and can be really valuable. I save about $20/ month using coupons and spend maybe an hour/month clipping/downloading/printing them. Not bad. *It is important to note that you may need to read through the coupon policy for the store you shop at most often to learn the exceptions- for example, at kroger you cannot combine a printed coupon with a digital coupon. Digital coupons also cannot be used for "managers special" (marked down) items, but they CAN be used for sale items.
5. I check my receipts.
While my items are being rung up, I watch the screen to try and check that the prices are what I expected. Before I leave the store, I pull my buggy over to the side after I've checked out and I look over my receipt to make sure that every thing rang up for what it was supposed to, that all sale items were truly sold to me at the advertised prices, and to make sure all of my coupons were taken off. If I find a problem, I immediately take my receipt to customer service and have it made right. No less than 6 times a year I get over charged for items and have to go through the process to get a refund, but at times it has been the difference of as much as $20! That's a lot of money to lose to not checking your receipts!
6. I read the fine print.
There is nothing worse than thinking that you are going to get a great deal then walking up to the cash register and finding out that you didn't read the details and will miss out on the savings. This can apply to coupons, but mostly I find the issue with the "mega" sales. Often, in order to get the lowest advertised price, you have to meet certain criteria- like purchasing a certain number of items that are on the "mega" sale. If you purchase too few, none of the items will be sold to you at the discount, and if you get too many, (say 7 instead of 6), then the "extra" items will be sold at the higher price. It's also important to note limits. Often stores will advertise "loss leaders"- these are items sold at discounts so deep the retailer might actually be losing money on the sale, so they put in limits for the number of those items that you can purchase at the discount- attempting to purchase more than the limit will result in the excess being sold to you at regular price. Also with "loss leaders" you need to make sure there isn't an "additional purchase" requirement. Especially with meat deals, stores often require you to make an ADDITIONAL (meaning the price of the sale item doesn't count towards the total) purchase of $10-$20.
7. I always check out the competition.
I shop the most at Kroger because I find it to be the store with the lowest overall prices and it's close to my home. However, I do not shop exclusively at Kroger. I buy bread at Skinners because they sell pepperidge farm bread products for .99 everyday. I look at the sale ads for EVERY grocery store in town EVERY week. Sometimes it's worth it for me to run into a different store to pick up sale items. I find this most true for fresh items (produce and meat). By looking at the competition each week, I get to make sure I'm getting the most for my money and providing variety for my family.
8. Special items are ONLY bought at super discounts.
We have a coffee machine that brews K-cups. If you've ever done the math, you know that it is much more expensive to buy K-cups than it is to buy ground coffee. For this reason I ONLY buy K-cups on clearance. I occasionally find them at Super One or Kroger on clearance and I buy up everything they have. I pay a max of $3.50 for a box of 12, but typically I pay $2-$3 per box (typically less than half of the regular price). We have a lot of K-cups and a wide variety of options at our house. This is how we handle ALL Special items. We don't buy ice cream unless it's a really good sale. We only buy candy the day after a holiday when it's half off. We save the special stuff for when it's really cheap.
9. I am brand flexible.
It's hard to save money if you are only willing to buy the same brand you always buy. We have our preferences, but those preferences can be trumped by prices. For instance, we prefer Prego or Classico for jarred pasta sauce, but this week Ragu was on sale for 1.19/jar PLUS I had a coupon for .75/off 2. That made each jar about .81. Prego or Classico would have been over 2.50/jar. We don't love Ragu, but we are all willing to eat it. At that big of a price difference, we eat what's affordable over what's preferable. Now, we straight up dislike certain brands of pasta sauce, so regardless of the price, I don't buy those. Flexibility doesn't mean eating things we don't like or buying things we will never use. Sometimes the store brand is cheapest, sometimes a name brand is cheapest, and sometimes the right coupon can make a world of difference. We eat several brands, we are willing to try new brands, and I shop with a balance of what's most affordable vs. what we prefer.
10. I buy the SIZE that is most cost effective.
Look closely at the price tags on the shelves and you will start to see small numbers typically in a corner that will give a breakdown of the price/unit. So like when buying cheese typically the small corner price will show the price/ounce. This is really important to pay attention to. Sometimes the bigger size of an item comes at smaller price/unit- but not always. Sometimes the smaller packages carry the smaller overall price (this is especially true when an item is on sale- often the size that is on sale will be cheaper than other sizes of the same item). Does that make sense? For example, typically with block cheese, if you buy a 1lb block, you pay less per ounce than if you bought the same brand of cheese in the 8oz block. However, on occasion, 8oz blocks will run on sale at prices so low that it actually becomes cheaper to buy two 8oz blocks of cheese than a 1lb block of cheese. NOW- the one exception to this money saving rule is this: NEVER BUY MORE THAN YOU CAN USE BEFORE IT SPOILS. It does no good at all to buy a whole bunch of something if you are going to end up throwing out a good portion of it. Like if you buy cereal but your family doesn't eat it often, it may be more economical to buy the smaller box because the bigger one may go stale before you are able to eat the whole thing.
Ok, I know that was a lot of info. If you aren't big on shopping/saving it may seem overwhelming, but I promise, with just a tiny bit of time practicing the execution, it gets easier and eventually you find that it's not hard or time consuming to save a lot of money grocery shopping.
If you are interested in some of the more crazy side of saving money, I suggest "liking" the Kroger Krazy page on facebook. You can also check out couponmom.com for a super easy walk through of how to combine coupons with sale prices and price matching to get stuff for super cheap/free.
Friday, June 13, 2014
To all of you who want to play the "one up" game
We all know how to play the "one up" game and among moms it seems especially popular. In most cases I hate the "one up" game. Mostly because I think it's wrong. While I certainly want my child to succeed, my child belongs to God and because of that, her accomplishments should serve to glorify God, not me.
I do have an idea for the game that I think could be productive. What if instead of playing the game with our children as the pawns spouting their achievements, we did it with our spouses and spouted their Godly characteristics? We love to say good things about our children, but for whatever reason I find that women seem to have a hard time saying as many good things about their husbands.
The thing is, our husbands good qualities are something worth boasting. It's good for you, it's good for him, and it's good for others to hear. When we speak well of our husbands to others we tell them that we value our spouse. It's a great way to protect your marriage. When you consciously tell others about your husband's good qualities, it helps you to focus on them. That's good, because when you live with someone sharing all of life's moments together, it gets really easy to focus on their weaknesses. When you speak of your spouse's strengths you also give him a boost. It's good for him to hear praise from you. It's not like saying your spouse is better than others, it's just saying that these are the things about him that are worthy of praise. It's a way of showing that you are thankful for him. I think when we start spreading the good rumors about our loved ones, it encourages others to speak well of their loved ones too. Now doesn't that sound familiar?
1 Thess. 5:11: Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.
Eph. 4:29: Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
Phil. 4:8: Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
My husband is a protector. He thinks about what is best for me and protects me from myself. He doesn't tell me what to do, but in a very loving manner points me to see the things that aren't the best for me. He gives me a reason to quit the things I'm miserable doing when I haven't even hinted at wanting to quit. He sees what I need and goes after it. He loves our baby fiercely. He delights in her. He is a good daddy. Anyone who spends even the smallest amount of time with Cameron and Violet can see right away that he is a great father. He doesn't just love her when she's easy, He serves her when she is a mess. He is a good worker. He doesn't turn down an opportunity to provide for his family, and no job is beneath him. Whether it's waiting tables, wading through mud, sweating in the heat, cutting grass, or working in a factory, I know that he will do whatever it takes to provide for us. He acts with humility. He doesn't consider himself better than anyone else. All people are people to him.
I've never met a better man.
Now it's your turn. Feel free to leave a comment here, on fb, or just start telling others about your spouse's attributes that are worthy of praise.
I do have an idea for the game that I think could be productive. What if instead of playing the game with our children as the pawns spouting their achievements, we did it with our spouses and spouted their Godly characteristics? We love to say good things about our children, but for whatever reason I find that women seem to have a hard time saying as many good things about their husbands.
The thing is, our husbands good qualities are something worth boasting. It's good for you, it's good for him, and it's good for others to hear. When we speak well of our husbands to others we tell them that we value our spouse. It's a great way to protect your marriage. When you consciously tell others about your husband's good qualities, it helps you to focus on them. That's good, because when you live with someone sharing all of life's moments together, it gets really easy to focus on their weaknesses. When you speak of your spouse's strengths you also give him a boost. It's good for him to hear praise from you. It's not like saying your spouse is better than others, it's just saying that these are the things about him that are worthy of praise. It's a way of showing that you are thankful for him. I think when we start spreading the good rumors about our loved ones, it encourages others to speak well of their loved ones too. Now doesn't that sound familiar?
1 Thess. 5:11: Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.
Eph. 4:29: Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
Phil. 4:8: Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
My husband is a protector. He thinks about what is best for me and protects me from myself. He doesn't tell me what to do, but in a very loving manner points me to see the things that aren't the best for me. He gives me a reason to quit the things I'm miserable doing when I haven't even hinted at wanting to quit. He sees what I need and goes after it. He loves our baby fiercely. He delights in her. He is a good daddy. Anyone who spends even the smallest amount of time with Cameron and Violet can see right away that he is a great father. He doesn't just love her when she's easy, He serves her when she is a mess. He is a good worker. He doesn't turn down an opportunity to provide for his family, and no job is beneath him. Whether it's waiting tables, wading through mud, sweating in the heat, cutting grass, or working in a factory, I know that he will do whatever it takes to provide for us. He acts with humility. He doesn't consider himself better than anyone else. All people are people to him.
I've never met a better man.
Now it's your turn. Feel free to leave a comment here, on fb, or just start telling others about your spouse's attributes that are worthy of praise.
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