Little things add up. I recently did the math and found that from digital coupons, clipped coupons, shopping/ planning meals around what is on sale, and looking through the discount bins, I consistently save about 35-40% a month on groceries. I don't do anything "extreme" or super time consuming. We eat almost every meal at home plus snacks and treats so we go through a lot of groceries. We eat what we like and our budget never holds us back from having our favorite things. I figured out that we eat about $250 worth of groceries a week. I spend about $150. We save about $4800 a year.
So, here is how I do it:
1. I buy in multiples.
I look at the sale ads EVERY week. I choose the items that have the deepest discounts and I buy as much as I can of those items. For instance, this week Kroger has skinner pasta on sale for .38 each (typically about $1 each). I will buy a month worth of pasta at that price because pasta goes on sale at deep discounts pretty often. We go through about 2-3 packages of pasta a week. So say 10 in a month. The sale price saves me about $6 for the month. A few weeks back Kroger ran canned tuna on sale for .50 each (which is a rare low price I haven't seen for tuna in a very long time- it typically goes on sale for about .69-.89)- I bought over 30 cans. That might seem extreme at first, but if you think of it in the long run- I know that my family eats about 6-8 cans of tuna a month. The normal price I pay is about .79 each. So I typically spend 4.74-6.32 a month on tuna. At the sale price of .50 I'm only paying $3-4 a month. That's about $2 a month which may not sound like a huge savings at first, but when you buy say 4-5 months worth, that's about $9. Now just on tuna and pasta- some pretty basic staples, I've saved $8 in a month. Maybe you still don't think that's much, but if I can get that sort of savings EVERY month- it adds up to $96 in a year.
This is how I shop for almost EVERY item. I buy in bulk when things are on sale and it means that I am only ever paying the lowest prices for my grocery items. This means that each week I may not be buying groceries that all together would equal a week of meals because ingredients are missing, but combined with what I've bought in the past, it all works out.
2. I buy what's on sale.
That statement may sound a lot like what I just went through, but hang with me a second, because it is VERY different. Not all items can be bought in bulk because they would spoil. These fresh items are really important to a well balanced, healthy diet. The way I keep fresh foods in the house without running up my grocery bill is I ONLY buy what is on sale. Last week grapes were on sale for .88/lb which is a fantastic price for fruit. I also found blueberries for 1.99/pint. A few weeks ago we went out to a farm and purchased a 1/4 peck of peaches that we keep in the refrigerator- (buying from the farm AT the farm is a great way to get super low prices on seasonal produce). This gave my family three great options for fresh fruit last week and kept my grocery bill low. I do the same thing for veggies that aren't best bought frozen (like whole potatoes, bell peppers, mushrooms, tomatoes, etc.) I buy what is on sale (which is typically whatever is in season) and then I plan my meals/snacks around what I am able to purchase. Grapes are typically $2-3/lb and blueberries are typically $4/pint. Peaches have been around $2/lb. Last week we had $16 worth of fruit, but I only paid about $7.
3. I buy discount meat.
Now this part of how I save a TON of money really does require a small deep freezer. Also, you need to educate yourself on the proper way to freeze/store meat, how to thaw it, and how long it can be frozen. In addition to purchasing choice meats when they are on sale (brisket, ribs, steaks, good cuts of pork, etc.), I ALWAYS check the discount bins in the meat department and almost exclusively buy ground beef and roasts on "managers special" (marked down) along with anything else appealing I find there for less than $3.49/lb. I buy lean ground beef and never pay a dime over $3.49/lb for it, but I often pay less than $3/lb. If you shop much you know that those prices are at a minimum $1/lb less than the typical prices. When I see the meat, I buy every bit that is available. I wait for smoked sausage to be $1/package and then buy in bulk. I also buy bacon in bulk- on occasion there are two grocery stores in town that will run a 3lb package of bacon for $8-$9 (which is an absolute STEAL for bacon) and I will buy 4 packages at once (which lasts us 3-6 months depending on how much we feel like eating bacon). I buy chicken (boneless/skinless) only when it is on sale for less than 1.80/lb. If I can't find our staples (ground beef and boneless skinless chicken) on sale/discount, then I buy bulk packages at Sam's Club which ALWAYS carries them at the lowest regular price in town (typically a full .70-.80/lb less). Meat can be a big chunk of your grocery budget if you don't shop smart- but remember that there are many meats that keep for several months if frozen properly. You should never pay the regular grocery store price for meat. I exclusively purchase sale and discount meats and I know it is where I save a huge percent of $$$. If you live in Longview, Skinner's is really great at having discount meats, and Kroger/Albertson's run the best sales on meat. Between the three, you should never have to pay full price. Super One and occasionally Brookshire's run the smoked sausage and bacon on sale a few times a year and prices worth buying in bulk.
4. I USE ALL of the discounts available to me.
I have the store cards for every store in town. I load the digital coupons onto my cards. It takes very little time to load digital coupons and it's an easy way to save money without spending a lot of time/effort. Brookshires will even send text exclusive deals to your phone if you sign up and sometimes those deals are really good. I don't typically shop at Brookshires because it is the furthest from my home and the prices on average are the highest in town, but every now and then I get a text deal too good to pass up. I also clip coupons. If you don't buy the Sunday paper (I don't), you probably know someone who does and doesn't use the coupons- ask for them. I get free coupons, clip the ones I might use, and keep them in plastic organizers in my purse at ALL times. I NEVER EVER leave home without them. I flip through them in the parking lot before I go into the store and pull out the ones I think I might need based on what I'm going in for. I don't go crazy, and I don't buy things I don't need. I only use them if they will actually SAVE money. Sometimes it's cheaper to buy the store brand or a different size of the item than to use the coupon you have. In addition to the free coupons I am graciously given, about once a month I browse coupons.com and print out the coupons that are for items I know I buy (or that typically go on sale meaning I can purchase them at super low prices). I also have "liked" the facebook pages for several brands that my family likes. Often companies will post facebook exclusive coupons. I don't go looking through pages for coupons, but if it comes up in my normal feed, I go ahead and print it. I also pay attention to the coupons that print out at the register when I'm at the grocery store. Those coupons are typically targeted towards your buying habits and can be really valuable. I save about $20/ month using coupons and spend maybe an hour/month clipping/downloading/printing them. Not bad. *It is important to note that you may need to read through the coupon policy for the store you shop at most often to learn the exceptions- for example, at kroger you cannot combine a printed coupon with a digital coupon. Digital coupons also cannot be used for "managers special" (marked down) items, but they CAN be used for sale items.
5. I check my receipts.
While my items are being rung up, I watch the screen to try and check that the prices are what I expected. Before I leave the store, I pull my buggy over to the side after I've checked out and I look over my receipt to make sure that every thing rang up for what it was supposed to, that all sale items were truly sold to me at the advertised prices, and to make sure all of my coupons were taken off. If I find a problem, I immediately take my receipt to customer service and have it made right. No less than 6 times a year I get over charged for items and have to go through the process to get a refund, but at times it has been the difference of as much as $20! That's a lot of money to lose to not checking your receipts!
6. I read the fine print.
There is nothing worse than thinking that you are going to get a great deal then walking up to the cash register and finding out that you didn't read the details and will miss out on the savings. This can apply to coupons, but mostly I find the issue with the "mega" sales. Often, in order to get the lowest advertised price, you have to meet certain criteria- like purchasing a certain number of items that are on the "mega" sale. If you purchase too few, none of the items will be sold to you at the discount, and if you get too many, (say 7 instead of 6), then the "extra" items will be sold at the higher price. It's also important to note limits. Often stores will advertise "loss leaders"- these are items sold at discounts so deep the retailer might actually be losing money on the sale, so they put in limits for the number of those items that you can purchase at the discount- attempting to purchase more than the limit will result in the excess being sold to you at regular price. Also with "loss leaders" you need to make sure there isn't an "additional purchase" requirement. Especially with meat deals, stores often require you to make an ADDITIONAL (meaning the price of the sale item doesn't count towards the total) purchase of $10-$20.
7. I always check out the competition.
I shop the most at Kroger because I find it to be the store with the lowest overall prices and it's close to my home. However, I do not shop exclusively at Kroger. I buy bread at Skinners because they sell pepperidge farm bread products for .99 everyday. I look at the sale ads for EVERY grocery store in town EVERY week. Sometimes it's worth it for me to run into a different store to pick up sale items. I find this most true for fresh items (produce and meat). By looking at the competition each week, I get to make sure I'm getting the most for my money and providing variety for my family.
8. Special items are ONLY bought at super discounts.
We have a coffee machine that brews K-cups. If you've ever done the math, you know that it is much more expensive to buy K-cups than it is to buy ground coffee. For this reason I ONLY buy K-cups on clearance. I occasionally find them at Super One or Kroger on clearance and I buy up everything they have. I pay a max of $3.50 for a box of 12, but typically I pay $2-$3 per box (typically less than half of the regular price). We have a lot of K-cups and a wide variety of options at our house. This is how we handle ALL Special items. We don't buy ice cream unless it's a really good sale. We only buy candy the day after a holiday when it's half off. We save the special stuff for when it's really cheap.
9. I am brand flexible.
It's hard to save money if you are only willing to buy the same brand you always buy. We have our preferences, but those preferences can be trumped by prices. For instance, we prefer Prego or Classico for jarred pasta sauce, but this week Ragu was on sale for 1.19/jar PLUS I had a coupon for .75/off 2. That made each jar about .81. Prego or Classico would have been over 2.50/jar. We don't love Ragu, but we are all willing to eat it. At that big of a price difference, we eat what's affordable over what's preferable. Now, we straight up dislike certain brands of pasta sauce, so regardless of the price, I don't buy those. Flexibility doesn't mean eating things we don't like or buying things we will never use. Sometimes the store brand is cheapest, sometimes a name brand is cheapest, and sometimes the right coupon can make a world of difference. We eat several brands, we are willing to try new brands, and I shop with a balance of what's most affordable vs. what we prefer.
10. I buy the SIZE that is most cost effective.
Look closely at the price tags on the shelves and you will start to see small numbers typically in a corner that will give a breakdown of the price/unit. So like when buying cheese typically the small corner price will show the price/ounce. This is really important to pay attention to. Sometimes the bigger size of an item comes at smaller price/unit- but not always. Sometimes the smaller packages carry the smaller overall price (this is especially true when an item is on sale- often the size that is on sale will be cheaper than other sizes of the same item). Does that make sense? For example, typically with block cheese, if you buy a 1lb block, you pay less per ounce than if you bought the same brand of cheese in the 8oz block. However, on occasion, 8oz blocks will run on sale at prices so low that it actually becomes cheaper to buy two 8oz blocks of cheese than a 1lb block of cheese. NOW- the one exception to this money saving rule is this: NEVER BUY MORE THAN YOU CAN USE BEFORE IT SPOILS. It does no good at all to buy a whole bunch of something if you are going to end up throwing out a good portion of it. Like if you buy cereal but your family doesn't eat it often, it may be more economical to buy the smaller box because the bigger one may go stale before you are able to eat the whole thing.
Ok, I know that was a lot of info. If you aren't big on shopping/saving it may seem overwhelming, but I promise, with just a tiny bit of time practicing the execution, it gets easier and eventually you find that it's not hard or time consuming to save a lot of money grocery shopping.
If you are interested in some of the more crazy side of saving money, I suggest "liking" the Kroger Krazy page on facebook. You can also check out couponmom.com for a super easy walk through of how to combine coupons with sale prices and price matching to get stuff for super cheap/free.
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
Friday, June 13, 2014
To all of you who want to play the "one up" game
We all know how to play the "one up" game and among moms it seems especially popular. In most cases I hate the "one up" game. Mostly because I think it's wrong. While I certainly want my child to succeed, my child belongs to God and because of that, her accomplishments should serve to glorify God, not me.
I do have an idea for the game that I think could be productive. What if instead of playing the game with our children as the pawns spouting their achievements, we did it with our spouses and spouted their Godly characteristics? We love to say good things about our children, but for whatever reason I find that women seem to have a hard time saying as many good things about their husbands.
The thing is, our husbands good qualities are something worth boasting. It's good for you, it's good for him, and it's good for others to hear. When we speak well of our husbands to others we tell them that we value our spouse. It's a great way to protect your marriage. When you consciously tell others about your husband's good qualities, it helps you to focus on them. That's good, because when you live with someone sharing all of life's moments together, it gets really easy to focus on their weaknesses. When you speak of your spouse's strengths you also give him a boost. It's good for him to hear praise from you. It's not like saying your spouse is better than others, it's just saying that these are the things about him that are worthy of praise. It's a way of showing that you are thankful for him. I think when we start spreading the good rumors about our loved ones, it encourages others to speak well of their loved ones too. Now doesn't that sound familiar?
1 Thess. 5:11: Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.
Eph. 4:29: Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
Phil. 4:8: Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
My husband is a protector. He thinks about what is best for me and protects me from myself. He doesn't tell me what to do, but in a very loving manner points me to see the things that aren't the best for me. He gives me a reason to quit the things I'm miserable doing when I haven't even hinted at wanting to quit. He sees what I need and goes after it. He loves our baby fiercely. He delights in her. He is a good daddy. Anyone who spends even the smallest amount of time with Cameron and Violet can see right away that he is a great father. He doesn't just love her when she's easy, He serves her when she is a mess. He is a good worker. He doesn't turn down an opportunity to provide for his family, and no job is beneath him. Whether it's waiting tables, wading through mud, sweating in the heat, cutting grass, or working in a factory, I know that he will do whatever it takes to provide for us. He acts with humility. He doesn't consider himself better than anyone else. All people are people to him.
I've never met a better man.
Now it's your turn. Feel free to leave a comment here, on fb, or just start telling others about your spouse's attributes that are worthy of praise.
I do have an idea for the game that I think could be productive. What if instead of playing the game with our children as the pawns spouting their achievements, we did it with our spouses and spouted their Godly characteristics? We love to say good things about our children, but for whatever reason I find that women seem to have a hard time saying as many good things about their husbands.
The thing is, our husbands good qualities are something worth boasting. It's good for you, it's good for him, and it's good for others to hear. When we speak well of our husbands to others we tell them that we value our spouse. It's a great way to protect your marriage. When you consciously tell others about your husband's good qualities, it helps you to focus on them. That's good, because when you live with someone sharing all of life's moments together, it gets really easy to focus on their weaknesses. When you speak of your spouse's strengths you also give him a boost. It's good for him to hear praise from you. It's not like saying your spouse is better than others, it's just saying that these are the things about him that are worthy of praise. It's a way of showing that you are thankful for him. I think when we start spreading the good rumors about our loved ones, it encourages others to speak well of their loved ones too. Now doesn't that sound familiar?
1 Thess. 5:11: Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.
Eph. 4:29: Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
Phil. 4:8: Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
My husband is a protector. He thinks about what is best for me and protects me from myself. He doesn't tell me what to do, but in a very loving manner points me to see the things that aren't the best for me. He gives me a reason to quit the things I'm miserable doing when I haven't even hinted at wanting to quit. He sees what I need and goes after it. He loves our baby fiercely. He delights in her. He is a good daddy. Anyone who spends even the smallest amount of time with Cameron and Violet can see right away that he is a great father. He doesn't just love her when she's easy, He serves her when she is a mess. He is a good worker. He doesn't turn down an opportunity to provide for his family, and no job is beneath him. Whether it's waiting tables, wading through mud, sweating in the heat, cutting grass, or working in a factory, I know that he will do whatever it takes to provide for us. He acts with humility. He doesn't consider himself better than anyone else. All people are people to him.
I've never met a better man.
Now it's your turn. Feel free to leave a comment here, on fb, or just start telling others about your spouse's attributes that are worthy of praise.
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
A note of encouragement
Typically I write a blog post for myself, but today I want to write something for you: a note of encouragement.
Right now life is really good. That's only for one reason though: I'm trusting the Lord and He is providing. The last five years felt mostly like wandering around in the wilderness for me and I feel like I've finally reached the promised land. I'm living out the life I was always supposed to have (not to say I won't stumble some more- in fact, I'd bet on it). Maybe you're not there right now. Maybe you feel like you're in the wilderness and it's dark and terrifying. Perhaps you're losing hope and doubting the path that you've taken. Just keep walking. The Lord is faithful and provides. After five years of the wilderness and finally coming out, I know this is true.
Recently we came to a point where there was no reasonable way for our bills to get smaller. However, between bills, food, and gas, we were spending more than we were bringing in and falling behind on things. We started talking about the possibility of me looking for a part time job (and because of Violet that would have almost necessarily meant working at a daycare). It's not what I wanted, but I'm the one who handles paying our bills so I knew it would be necessary. We hadn't told anyone we were looking for extra ways to make money, but right when we needed it, opportunities presented themselves. Someone needed occasional child care that I could provide without taking away too much time from my own home/family and without the headache of a daycare. At the same time our property manager was having trouble keeping up the lawncare where we live and Cameron just mentioned that he would be willing to take care of it if they were interested. No phone calls or applications. We didn't solicit the jobs, they just showed up (one literally at our doorstep). We didn't have a lawnmower or weedeater, but God worked that out too. We were GIVEN both by a sweet couple from our church. Between the two new "jobs" we have enough that I don't have to look for a part time job. Other people had needs we were able to fill, and by doing so, our needs were filled too. Tell me God didn't do that.
Maybe your struggle isn't financial. Perhaps like me God has been talking to you about something He wants you to do or be a part of. Maybe you are holding back for some reason. Whatever it is, talk to God about it. He cares. When He placed a need on my heart, I told my husband but stopped there. I thought about it and did some research on it, but that was it. I told God I was open to doing it, but that I didn't know where to start and I was scared to talk to someone about it. He knows me and He already knew my inexperience and anxiety when it comes to speaking up. He opened the door so that the exact thing I was being called to do was presented to me. Someone walked straight up to me, asked if I would pray about being a part of something and that something was exactly what God had already told me to do. All I had to do was say yes. He made it easy. That's not always how He works (trust me, I've been there) but that doesn't mean we can't talk to Him about our hesitations. Sometimes you have to do the hard thing, but then sometimes God sends you an Aaron. It's okay to ask God for what you think you need.
Maybe your struggle is your marriage. I know I've only been married for five years, but trust me, we've been through struggles beyond our years. We've hurt each other in ways that no one but God can heal. Praise Jesus that He is the great Healer. I've felt alone, abandoned, misused, betrayed, unappreciated, you name it. I've done just as much to him too. Marriage is hard work. Don't let anyone tell you differently. You will hurt your spouse and you will be hurt by your spouse in ways you never imagined. When you feel like giving up, hold on even tighter. When you most feel that divorce is the answer, recommit yourself to your vows and let your spouse know that you'd rather do the work than take the easy way out. I know you may think you're out of energy and that it's too much. Maybe you feel like you're doing it all alone. I've been there. God always has more strength to give you. When you think that you are out of forgiveness, that you have none left to offer, God will give you more. You can forgive your spouse of ANYTHING. Remember that God has forgiven you for everything. The Lord is always there, so you are never alone. The Lord has not abandoned your marriage or betrayed it and He wants more than anything to heal your wounds. He can heal all things, all marriages.
Whatever you are going through right now, God is faithful. His word is true. He wants to offer you an abundant life. Take it. Be thankful.
Right now life is really good. That's only for one reason though: I'm trusting the Lord and He is providing. The last five years felt mostly like wandering around in the wilderness for me and I feel like I've finally reached the promised land. I'm living out the life I was always supposed to have (not to say I won't stumble some more- in fact, I'd bet on it). Maybe you're not there right now. Maybe you feel like you're in the wilderness and it's dark and terrifying. Perhaps you're losing hope and doubting the path that you've taken. Just keep walking. The Lord is faithful and provides. After five years of the wilderness and finally coming out, I know this is true.
Recently we came to a point where there was no reasonable way for our bills to get smaller. However, between bills, food, and gas, we were spending more than we were bringing in and falling behind on things. We started talking about the possibility of me looking for a part time job (and because of Violet that would have almost necessarily meant working at a daycare). It's not what I wanted, but I'm the one who handles paying our bills so I knew it would be necessary. We hadn't told anyone we were looking for extra ways to make money, but right when we needed it, opportunities presented themselves. Someone needed occasional child care that I could provide without taking away too much time from my own home/family and without the headache of a daycare. At the same time our property manager was having trouble keeping up the lawncare where we live and Cameron just mentioned that he would be willing to take care of it if they were interested. No phone calls or applications. We didn't solicit the jobs, they just showed up (one literally at our doorstep). We didn't have a lawnmower or weedeater, but God worked that out too. We were GIVEN both by a sweet couple from our church. Between the two new "jobs" we have enough that I don't have to look for a part time job. Other people had needs we were able to fill, and by doing so, our needs were filled too. Tell me God didn't do that.
Maybe your struggle isn't financial. Perhaps like me God has been talking to you about something He wants you to do or be a part of. Maybe you are holding back for some reason. Whatever it is, talk to God about it. He cares. When He placed a need on my heart, I told my husband but stopped there. I thought about it and did some research on it, but that was it. I told God I was open to doing it, but that I didn't know where to start and I was scared to talk to someone about it. He knows me and He already knew my inexperience and anxiety when it comes to speaking up. He opened the door so that the exact thing I was being called to do was presented to me. Someone walked straight up to me, asked if I would pray about being a part of something and that something was exactly what God had already told me to do. All I had to do was say yes. He made it easy. That's not always how He works (trust me, I've been there) but that doesn't mean we can't talk to Him about our hesitations. Sometimes you have to do the hard thing, but then sometimes God sends you an Aaron. It's okay to ask God for what you think you need.
Maybe your struggle is your marriage. I know I've only been married for five years, but trust me, we've been through struggles beyond our years. We've hurt each other in ways that no one but God can heal. Praise Jesus that He is the great Healer. I've felt alone, abandoned, misused, betrayed, unappreciated, you name it. I've done just as much to him too. Marriage is hard work. Don't let anyone tell you differently. You will hurt your spouse and you will be hurt by your spouse in ways you never imagined. When you feel like giving up, hold on even tighter. When you most feel that divorce is the answer, recommit yourself to your vows and let your spouse know that you'd rather do the work than take the easy way out. I know you may think you're out of energy and that it's too much. Maybe you feel like you're doing it all alone. I've been there. God always has more strength to give you. When you think that you are out of forgiveness, that you have none left to offer, God will give you more. You can forgive your spouse of ANYTHING. Remember that God has forgiven you for everything. The Lord is always there, so you are never alone. The Lord has not abandoned your marriage or betrayed it and He wants more than anything to heal your wounds. He can heal all things, all marriages.
Whatever you are going through right now, God is faithful. His word is true. He wants to offer you an abundant life. Take it. Be thankful.
Saturday, April 12, 2014
In the middle- a little Violet update
(this is an old post I started a couple weeks ago and never posted)
Well, I'm not winning any awards for tonight's dinner. I fed Violet leftover birthday cake, cheerios, diced turkey, and apple juice... in her walker while she watched Sesame Street. Yeah. She's having a rough day between extreme allergies and teething so I gave her all of the things she likes best. Last night I did food battle and made her eat what I ate, but tonight I figured she is battling enough other stuff, food doesn't need to be on that list.
I feel knee deep in the middle of mommying a "little." I can sing the entire theme song to Abby's Flying Fairy School, I know the name of Big Bird's teddy bear (Radar), and I have completely memorized almost every episode from season 2 of Yo Gabba Gabba. I know every song that her piano plays, her bouncer plays, and her nursery rhyme book plays. I also have memorized the tiny kitten book she makes me read her a billion times a day (you know, on the days when I don't hide it to save my sanity).
As of her one year check up she is:
W: 21 pounds 11 ounces
H: 29.5 inches tall
Giant head at 18.5 inches
She loves small books, rubber ducks, stuffed animals, knocking down blocks, emptying baskets, and generally destroying my home :) She LOVEs music and shoes. Those two are probably her favorites. She doesn't like to wear shoes so much as look at them.
She likes swinging at the park and she can say "duck," "uh-oh," "mama," "dada," and "thank you."
Well, I'm not winning any awards for tonight's dinner. I fed Violet leftover birthday cake, cheerios, diced turkey, and apple juice... in her walker while she watched Sesame Street. Yeah. She's having a rough day between extreme allergies and teething so I gave her all of the things she likes best. Last night I did food battle and made her eat what I ate, but tonight I figured she is battling enough other stuff, food doesn't need to be on that list.
I feel knee deep in the middle of mommying a "little." I can sing the entire theme song to Abby's Flying Fairy School, I know the name of Big Bird's teddy bear (Radar), and I have completely memorized almost every episode from season 2 of Yo Gabba Gabba. I know every song that her piano plays, her bouncer plays, and her nursery rhyme book plays. I also have memorized the tiny kitten book she makes me read her a billion times a day (you know, on the days when I don't hide it to save my sanity).
As of her one year check up she is:
W: 21 pounds 11 ounces
H: 29.5 inches tall
Giant head at 18.5 inches
She loves small books, rubber ducks, stuffed animals, knocking down blocks, emptying baskets, and generally destroying my home :) She LOVEs music and shoes. Those two are probably her favorites. She doesn't like to wear shoes so much as look at them.
She likes swinging at the park and she can say "duck," "uh-oh," "mama," "dada," and "thank you."
Spiritual gifts
To all of my friends who understand what it is to be an introvert and don't expect me to act like an extrovert, thank you.
I just got home from a baby shower. It was lovely and beautiful and the mom to be is one of the sweetest women I know. I went because I remember my shower and how much it meant to me that people came. It's nice to get gifts, but there is something special about someone showing up to celebrate. Coming home I'm exhausted and there is no physical reason for it. I spoke what little I had to for politeness to the people around me, and had a truly lovely conversation with the moms of the couple being celebrated. So there was no reason to be exhausted... except I was in a room full of people I didn't know for a few hours. It makes my heart race and I get nervous and anxious and awkward. I get a headache and start to feel incredibly overwhelmed when I'm around a large number of people- even if I know them, but more so when I don't know them. If you're a fellow introvert, you understand.
Now that I'm home and texting my husband about the shower and he has convinced me it's okay to let Violet cry in her bed a few minutes while I decompress, I realize something about my past. Most people don't know that when I was in college I took medicine for depression during the first two years. I went to a doctor my freshman year when I wasn't feeling well and he asked me a billion questions and determined that I didn't feel well because I was depressed. He gave me some meds and I took them for a while, then I started having panic attacks so I stopped taking them and switched to different meds, but continued to have panic attacks while in college (although strangely they seemed to stop not long after graduation). Sometime during those first two years I stopped taking the meds. I decided one day that I didn't need them and I quit. (I DO NOT recommend that ANYONE do this without consulting a doctor). I was perfectly fine and haven't taken them since then.
Looking back I don't think I had depression. I think I was overwhelmed by constantly being around so many people my age and it made me anxious and caused symptoms (which explains why the panic attacks stopped not long after graduation). I also think that my need to say no to spending time with friends and staying in bed holed up with a book away from others on occasion was a result of being an introvert, not signs that I was depressed. What's even more interesting to me is that as I progressed in my studies of my major (speech communication)- let's all laugh about that for a second- I became more and more aware of my personality and that I was an introvert and that knowledge along with the rest of what I was learning in my classes helped me learn to manage life so that I could survive without giving myself a nervous breakdown. This is my first time to ever look back and realize that all of my "symptoms" of depression were the same things that let me know I'm an introvert. I do believe that depression is a very real thing that some people struggle with, but I no longer believe that it is something I once struggled with.
Did you know that knowledge is a spiritual gift? I didn't. The above realization came through knowledge. God changed my life through that knowledge. It was a gift and it's one that continually changes me. I bring this up because I just got back the results from a spiritual gift survey I did and guess what gift I scored highest on? Yep: knowledge. I don't claim to know a lot, but I do believe that my understanding of the things I know is a gift from the Lord, and I'm thankful to have it pointed out.
Do you know your spiritual gifts? There are several lists in the Bible- here is one that I haven't read as much as the others.
7 Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. 8 To one there is given through the Spirit a message of wisdom, to another a message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, 9 to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, 10 to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues,[a] and to still another the interpretation of tongues.[b] 11 All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines.
I just got home from a baby shower. It was lovely and beautiful and the mom to be is one of the sweetest women I know. I went because I remember my shower and how much it meant to me that people came. It's nice to get gifts, but there is something special about someone showing up to celebrate. Coming home I'm exhausted and there is no physical reason for it. I spoke what little I had to for politeness to the people around me, and had a truly lovely conversation with the moms of the couple being celebrated. So there was no reason to be exhausted... except I was in a room full of people I didn't know for a few hours. It makes my heart race and I get nervous and anxious and awkward. I get a headache and start to feel incredibly overwhelmed when I'm around a large number of people- even if I know them, but more so when I don't know them. If you're a fellow introvert, you understand.
Now that I'm home and texting my husband about the shower and he has convinced me it's okay to let Violet cry in her bed a few minutes while I decompress, I realize something about my past. Most people don't know that when I was in college I took medicine for depression during the first two years. I went to a doctor my freshman year when I wasn't feeling well and he asked me a billion questions and determined that I didn't feel well because I was depressed. He gave me some meds and I took them for a while, then I started having panic attacks so I stopped taking them and switched to different meds, but continued to have panic attacks while in college (although strangely they seemed to stop not long after graduation). Sometime during those first two years I stopped taking the meds. I decided one day that I didn't need them and I quit. (I DO NOT recommend that ANYONE do this without consulting a doctor). I was perfectly fine and haven't taken them since then.
Looking back I don't think I had depression. I think I was overwhelmed by constantly being around so many people my age and it made me anxious and caused symptoms (which explains why the panic attacks stopped not long after graduation). I also think that my need to say no to spending time with friends and staying in bed holed up with a book away from others on occasion was a result of being an introvert, not signs that I was depressed. What's even more interesting to me is that as I progressed in my studies of my major (speech communication)- let's all laugh about that for a second- I became more and more aware of my personality and that I was an introvert and that knowledge along with the rest of what I was learning in my classes helped me learn to manage life so that I could survive without giving myself a nervous breakdown. This is my first time to ever look back and realize that all of my "symptoms" of depression were the same things that let me know I'm an introvert. I do believe that depression is a very real thing that some people struggle with, but I no longer believe that it is something I once struggled with.
Did you know that knowledge is a spiritual gift? I didn't. The above realization came through knowledge. God changed my life through that knowledge. It was a gift and it's one that continually changes me. I bring this up because I just got back the results from a spiritual gift survey I did and guess what gift I scored highest on? Yep: knowledge. I don't claim to know a lot, but I do believe that my understanding of the things I know is a gift from the Lord, and I'm thankful to have it pointed out.
Do you know your spiritual gifts? There are several lists in the Bible- here is one that I haven't read as much as the others.
1 Corinthians 12 (NIV)
12 Now about the gifts of the Spirit, brothers and sisters, I do not want you to be uninformed. 2 You know that when you were pagans, somehow or other you were influenced and led astray to mute idols. 3 Therefore I want you to know that no one who is speaking by the Spirit of God says, “Jesus be cursed,” and no one can say, “Jesus is Lord,” except by the Holy Spirit.
4 There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. 5 There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. 6 There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work.7 Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. 8 To one there is given through the Spirit a message of wisdom, to another a message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, 9 to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, 10 to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues,[a] and to still another the interpretation of tongues.[b] 11 All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines.
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
On this day
On this day one year ago I was in labor. I went to a normal OB appointment and didn't get to come home because despite being 3 weeks and 2 days before my due date, I was very much in labor and dilated past 4cm.
I haven't forgotten the pain. I remember how terrible I felt being pregnant. I was sick all of the time. Everything made me worse. I was put on bed rest because of early contractions and started dilating a full month before my child was due. I was completely miserable, and even worse than that, I was scared. I was scared that she wouldn't make it and that it would have all been for nothing. I was scared that I couldn't do it- that labor would be too much for me. And to be honest, I was scared that someday I would look back and regret having a child. I was afraid that it wasn't worth all that I had to go through. Being pregnant, having labor, having morning sickness, having a million tubes in me at the hospital, having my blood pressure taken so much my arms were bruised, and having someone cut through me with a knife and staple me shut- that was the worst pain I have ever been through. It was hell. Recovery was hell.
The thing is, even though I can't fathom worse pain and suffering than what I went through, I would do it again. Even with as vivid of a memory as I have of the worst of it, I still know that I WILL do it again someday. She's worth it. My little Violet is worth every single bit of suffering it took to bring her into the world.
The more I think about my own beautiful child and her birth, the more I am forced to think of Jesus and how much more suffering He went through so that I could be reborn. The truth is that while the suffering I went through was the closest I know to Hell, it wasn't the real thing. I was never once separated from the Lord. I never had to know for a second what it was like to be without Him. When I was cut and bleeding and in pain I was able to cry out to God and know that He heard me. He heard me because of the suffering of Jesus. That's huge to me. He was broken and bleeding and went through it all just so that He could have a relationship with me. ME. This selfish, whiny, lazy woman who complains about the littlest things. He said I am worth all that He went through. Anyone else think that's some crazy love?
I don't know if I'm connecting the dots as well in words as they appear in my head, but what a picture! My child can be difficult and whiny and downright exhausting. Some days I get frustrated and I know that as she gets older the struggle will continue, but it's worth it. I love her so incredibly much. I would do anything to have a relationship with her. There is nothing she can ever do that would for a second diminish my love for her or longing to have a great relationship with her. After just one year with her, this great mystery of the love God has for me has become so much more clear because I feel that way for her. If I feel so strongly about my child and would be so willing to endure great pain and suffering for her, how much must Jesus love me?
Praise God. One year ago I tasted the punishment for sin, (Gen. 3:16 "To the woman he said, "I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children.") but praise the Lord I don't have to pay the full price. Thank you Jesus for taking that for me. Just as there is only one way for a baby to come out for life and that is through the mother, there was only one way for me to have eternal life and that was through Jesus.
I haven't forgotten the pain. I remember how terrible I felt being pregnant. I was sick all of the time. Everything made me worse. I was put on bed rest because of early contractions and started dilating a full month before my child was due. I was completely miserable, and even worse than that, I was scared. I was scared that she wouldn't make it and that it would have all been for nothing. I was scared that I couldn't do it- that labor would be too much for me. And to be honest, I was scared that someday I would look back and regret having a child. I was afraid that it wasn't worth all that I had to go through. Being pregnant, having labor, having morning sickness, having a million tubes in me at the hospital, having my blood pressure taken so much my arms were bruised, and having someone cut through me with a knife and staple me shut- that was the worst pain I have ever been through. It was hell. Recovery was hell.
The thing is, even though I can't fathom worse pain and suffering than what I went through, I would do it again. Even with as vivid of a memory as I have of the worst of it, I still know that I WILL do it again someday. She's worth it. My little Violet is worth every single bit of suffering it took to bring her into the world.
The more I think about my own beautiful child and her birth, the more I am forced to think of Jesus and how much more suffering He went through so that I could be reborn. The truth is that while the suffering I went through was the closest I know to Hell, it wasn't the real thing. I was never once separated from the Lord. I never had to know for a second what it was like to be without Him. When I was cut and bleeding and in pain I was able to cry out to God and know that He heard me. He heard me because of the suffering of Jesus. That's huge to me. He was broken and bleeding and went through it all just so that He could have a relationship with me. ME. This selfish, whiny, lazy woman who complains about the littlest things. He said I am worth all that He went through. Anyone else think that's some crazy love?
I don't know if I'm connecting the dots as well in words as they appear in my head, but what a picture! My child can be difficult and whiny and downright exhausting. Some days I get frustrated and I know that as she gets older the struggle will continue, but it's worth it. I love her so incredibly much. I would do anything to have a relationship with her. There is nothing she can ever do that would for a second diminish my love for her or longing to have a great relationship with her. After just one year with her, this great mystery of the love God has for me has become so much more clear because I feel that way for her. If I feel so strongly about my child and would be so willing to endure great pain and suffering for her, how much must Jesus love me?
Praise God. One year ago I tasted the punishment for sin, (Gen. 3:16 "To the woman he said, "I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children.") but praise the Lord I don't have to pay the full price. Thank you Jesus for taking that for me. Just as there is only one way for a baby to come out for life and that is through the mother, there was only one way for me to have eternal life and that was through Jesus.
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Summer... oh Summer.
Dear Spring,
I'm burnt out. I give up. You win. I agree that I've taken on too much stuff. Therefore, I'm doing what I do best and walking away from it all. Between the allergies, billion trips to the doctor to make sure it's really just allergies and not something contagious, and the five million excuses and apologies for not showing up because my kid's eyes are crusted together or I sound like I'm dying from emphysema, or we have to go back to the doctor, it's all just too much. I'm looking forward to summer. No more allergies, no more music class, bible study fellowship, MOPS, childcare for the other MOPS group, quilting class, or even MDO. That's right, this summer we are forgoing Mother's Day Out. Violet is big enough to play with other kids now, so I'm just going to set up play dates for her and we will take it easy this summer. I'm done with all of the "mommy" activities (for now). I will continue learning to sew from Pam as often as we can arrange to meet, but that's it. Everything else is on hiatus for summer because this momma just can't keep up. In the Fall I'm thinking the only thing we will be doing is bible study fellowship.I love all of the things we are doing right now, but I couldn't do them all at once for very long without losing my sanity. I hear I need a little bit of that if I want to raise a somewhat stable human being. So today, on the first official day of Spring (as if that even means anything in Texas where it's been Spring off and on for over a month), I give up.
I expected things to be different by now, but they're not really. I thought that by this point I would be a pro. I would have everything together with a schedule full of educational activities to make my baby smart, she would be running around, I would have lost a bunch weight chasing her, and I would have regained my energy and quick thinking from before I had Violet. None of that has happened. She doesn't even walk yet, I'm still fat, can barely keep up with what day of the week it is, and just started our first "educational activity" a few days ago. By the way, DK's "My First Words" touch and feel picture cards are awesome. Violet really gravitates to them. (Purchased on Amazon).
Yeah. As it turns out, I'm not quite the mom I thought I would be. All of my visions of my sweet baby playing in the room we went to so much trouble to paint and decorate were just dreams: we never play in her room. It's just a place where laundry baskets full of clothes that never get put away go to die.
That's okay. I am in the process of changing our busy life so that maybe this summer, we might actually spend the afternoon playing in her room. It could happen.Oh Summer. I'm ready.
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